old tapes

We all have them. Things said to us, done to us in the past that replay themselves in our present. I have erased many of the tapes from my life. I hope you have as well.

It gives me great comfort to know that there is a purpose for me. I'm not just some random gathering of molecules. As an artist, each piece I create has purpose, vision. Some are just for joy. Some are for a specific person or purpose. Like this one, it's for Lisa. She loves these colors and vintage things and birds. I hope she likes it.


I want to share with you something I read this morning. Hope it blesses you.

God's Signature by Max Lucado from In the Grip of Grace

"Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you." Jeremiah 1:5

With God in your world, you aren't an accident or an incident; you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God.

One of the finest gifts I ever received is a football signed by thirty former professional quarterbacks. There is nothing unique about this ball. For all I know it was bought at a discount sports store. What makes it unique is the signatures.

The same is true with us. In the scheme of nature Homo sapiens are not unique. We aren't the only creatures with flesh and hair and blood and hearts. What makes us special is not only our body but the signature of God on our lives. We are his works of art. We are created in his image to do good deeds. We are significant, not because of what we do, but because of whose we are.

peace.

I love to tell stories...

I was reading a friend's blog, thanks TootieD, and she tells good stories.

It reminded me of a story from my 14 year old days.

We had come to Oklahoma City from Farmersville, to celebrate the holidays and see friends and family. During one of our days here, Mom decided we would all go see Mrs. Pace in Elk City.

Mrs. Pace was a dear, elderly woman who had known my mother since her teen days when they worked together at the Children's Center in Bethany. We had grown up visiting Mrs. Pace in her little house where the candy dish always held lemon drops and it always smelled of hand lotion and face powder. We would sit, listen to the grown-ups talk, hear the stories and the news updates and eat lemon drops. Mrs. Pace would always tell me how pretty I was and remark on how much I'd grown. She was a sweet lady and even as kids, we didn't mind the visits. Did I mention the lemon drops? :-)

Anyway, on our trip to Elk City this one winter day, we loaded up the 56 Ford with all three dogs, 2 parents, 2 kids and we headed out. But not before we had prettied ourselves up right. We all put on our Sunday finest, I remember my outfit well. I was 14 after all. SO, I had on my jeans and a lovely blue sweater. I had on my best copper and blue eye shadow and my brand new rabbit fur coat. (Didn't know the details of rabbit fur coats at the time, all I can say is I'm sorry little rabbits I didn't know.) And we set out.

As always, the dogs were excited to be traveling. Jenny and I were in the back seat with Brenda, our little black furry mutt, Snoopy, our cartoon dog look a like and not the brightest dog we'd ever had and Maggie, mom's soul mate and our half shepherd/half chow family guardian.

As if Maggie knew a storm was coming, she roused and jumped to the front seat with mom. About that same time, Snoopy started to whimper. Then he started spewing and not from his mouth. POOP! shooting everywhere on everything. It didn't last long but the coverage was significant. Once it stopped, Snoopy was happy. Wagging his tail, running back and forth...yes, you can imagine. Dad pulled over as quickly as possible and we all bailed out. Discovering the extent of the damage, we did the best we could with the towels we had on hand and finished our journey to Elk City.

Mom was the only one in the car unscathed by the explosion, so we dropped her off at the nursing home and the rest of us went to the nearest carwash. This was my dad's solution. So in December in Oklahoma if you had passed the carwash that day you would have seen 1 child, 1 teenager, 1 man, 3 dogs and one car all bathing in the carwash. My rabbit fur coat...well, it was never the same. Snoopy got that high colonic he'd been craving. We all got a good power wash. We were only slightly damp when we returned to visit Mrs. Pace.

She didn't seem to notice and even in the nursing home, she still had lemon drops. We had a nice visit, we listened to stories and heard the news, and we enjoyed the lemon drops.

peace.

Half as much and more than plenty.

Several things have recently collided in my life to make me aware of one very important thing. If I had half as much, I'd still have more than plenty.

Now before you jump and run, hear me out. Really...I'm applying this to one area of my life. Food. For now.

We've all heard that America is fat. Oklahoma is fat. Well, here's the honest truth, so am I. I don't eat tons of junk, I don't eat tons period. But I do eat more than I need...obviously.

I've been struggling with it for some time. Not too seriously or I wouldn't still be struggling, but thinking about it none-the-less. I'm going to Africa soon. There are overweight people in Africa, but it's because they live on rice. They have few choices. I don't struggle with a lack of choice or availability. I could do better.

And then it hit me, seriously hit me. Food poisoning. Threw me out of the eating game for 48 hours. It was gross, painful, and eye-opening. I think my stomach shrunk two sizes that day. Very Grinchy...

But what it did was allow me to say no. No I don't need to finish that plate, I pay for it either way. No I don't need to have seconds. No I don't need to feel guilty about it. Grandma isn't watching and Dad didn't fill my plate for me. I'm not being wasteful I'm being wise.

So I'm eating half and I'm hoping this sticks with me. So far so good. I feel better when satisfied only and not stuffed. For all you thin eaters out there, I know this is not new news to you. But for some of us, there is a huge learning curve to be mounted and overcome.

And...I am an overcomer. So much of my life is witness to this.

So here's to the Full Years to come with only half. I know, sounds crazy, but it just may be the answer, at least for me.

peace.

Impossible!

Impossible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. Impossible for a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage. And four white mice will never be four white hourses. Such fol-de-rol and fiddle dee dee of courses. Impossible! But the world is full of zanies and fools who don't believe in sensible rules and won't believe what sensible people say.. and because these daft and dewey eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes impossible things are happening every day!

And today was one of those days.

I'm a rose colored glasses, pollyanna kind of gal. I love happy endings, laughter, spontaneous singing and I believe the potential to be the best you can be really does exist in all of us.

My hope and faith was renewed today. I moved my 70 year old alzheimers dad into a nursing home. He went willingly, peacefully and seem relieved. The nursing staff was very friendly, very helpful. The home is comfortable and welcoming. From the chickens in the courtyard area to the tiny finches in the TV room, life abounds in the place. Something I never expected in a nursing home. Something I was thrilled to find.

I hope you never have to face what I did today. But if you do...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I felt the love of the community surround us today. I am grateful God held us all in the palm of His loving, almighty hand.

peace.

Moving Day

Tomorrow I put my dad in a nursing home. I know lots of people do it, there are some good homes out there, and sometimes it's a necessity. This is one of those times.

But I honestly never thought this would happen.

This is just not the way my family does things. We grow old, we die. Very few of my extended family have lingered with an illness that required 24/7 care. If they did, they were married and at home.

My great uncle Grady just died. He was 97, still lived in his own house, played golf 3 times a week, mowed his own lawn and bowled in a senior's league. (They had to put him in with the 70 year olds cause their weren't any other 90-somethings playing and he still beat them).

My grandma, my dad's mom and Grady's sister, is 93 and living in a retirement community. She is still in charge of the world, always right and if you don't believe me, I'll give you her number and you can call and ask.

And then there is dad. He's 70. Because of alzheimers, his journey will likely end in this nursing home. Alzheimers is nasty. It has stolen his mind, his memory, his golden years. It has stolen the future I always thought we would have with him. I'm feeling relieved, cheated, joyful, guilt-ridden and just plain mad.

If we can spend billions on any given day for any given reason, WHY can't we find a cure for this heinous, dream stealing disease. Did you know that there are diagnosed cases of alzheimers in children as young as 6? SIX!!!!

I promise to do something. I do not want to see families lose loved ones before their time. I do not want to see dreams die. I do not want to believe this can't be stopped.

For tomorrow, I'll move my dad. I'll cry my tears. I'll try to make him comfortable in his new surroundings where he will be safe.

But watch out future days, I'm coming for you.

peace.

Reconnecting

I've been on Facebook for awhile now. Connecting and reconnecting has been fun. It has allowed me the ability to communicate with folks I'd lost touch with and to enhance contact with people I still see around.

After 45 years, I've met a lot of people. I haven't lived in one place as long as I have now lived in OKC, but I did spend some rather formative years in a couple of remarkable places.

The first one was Farmersville, Texas. I moved there from Dallas when I was 12, right before the 7th grade. You know that awkward, unsure, gangly phase of life we all go through? Yes, that was when my dad decided "goodbye city life" and "green acres we were there!" It was and still is a small town. When I lived there, the population was around 2000. My class had 30 kids in it and that was the entire seventh grade. It has grown significantly since I lived there, but the town square still stands and some parts are relatively untouched. Although McKinney is quick approaching from the west.

My memories of Farmersville are warm and wonderful. Kind of frozen in time actually. They were some of the happiest days of my childhood, full of good people and fun times. It was also the last place my family was still whole. That might have something to do with it. It was the last place life was relatively easy for me. I was still able to be a kid and I was. I was naive, awkward, innocent, involved, excited, and driven. I wanted to be noticed and yet cringed when I was. I excelled at school and went relatively unnoticed socially.

I joined the band and my second year was first chair. In Farmersville, you either played football as a Fighting Farmer, danced with the drill team as a Farmerette or marched and played in the band. Football games were town events and I loved them. I knew everyone around me, but was an outsider in many ways. I was the new girl. I hadn't lived there my whole life, so I didn't have history and I was terminally shy.

I loved my church youth group. I felt most accepted with this wonderful group. Our youth pastor was an outsider as well and I think that helped me feel like I was part.

I had the regular crushes and broken hearts. I had the excitement of sports from both the player and spectator vantages. Being 5'10" by the seventh grade kind of helped that! Yes, I played basketball.

But band was where I allowed myself to cut loose a little. We worked together, traveled together, competed together...we were a team. I joined the flag corp, cause their outfits were cuter and my newly acquired teen body looked better in them. I loved the band dances and the band banquets. My favorite date was Kenny. He was such a nice guy, so cute.

I remember working up the nerve to call his house, sometimes it took 3 or 4 times before I could dial the whole number and let it ring. My heart would be pounding, my pulse racing, and the phone would ring. Would he think I was weird? Would he roll his eyes when he heard my voice thinking oh great it's her? Would he say yes? No? Who else could I ask? Did I really need a date? Everyone else would have one. Always. 3 seconds later...someone would answer the phone, Kenny would get on, I would ask, he would say yes.

We'd coordinate colors with his aunt in town on the flowers, she was THE florist you know. And we'd dance. For one night everyone was equal. Everyone was accepted. Everyone had fun. And by everyone, I mostly mean me. I'm sure everyone else did too, but that wasn't really my focus honestly. Even looking back now I still feel the excitement of belonging. I was there, with a date, in a pretty dress, with color coordinated flowers. All was good. Even if my dad did chaperone every time. :-P

Through Facebook, I've reconnected with Kenny. He's married, a father of 2, and a music minister. None of that surprises me. He was always a sweet guy. He always said yes, even if he really didn't want to. I'll never know and honestly, I'll never ask. I like the picture in my brain and in my scrapbook somewhere of 2 awkward, gangly blond kids with braces smiling like crazy at the band dance.

Thanks Farmersville for the best kid days of my life. Don't change too much. Thanks Facebook for the memories and for reconnecting me to the days of innocence I have sometimes let be overshadowed by what came after we left.

peace.

Day of Rest

I have always enjoyed going to church. My friends are there, I love worship and singing, it was always a charge up for me. As I have gotten a little older and my children have grown up and out, I have found that sometimes, no church on Sunday makes for a day of rest unlike any other.

I almost feel guilty, almost. I still love God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength. I still love gathering with other believers to celebrate His constant love and goodness. Sometimes, I just feel the need to stop and smell the roses. To count my many blessings everyday. If you are singing that old country song in your head now, my job is complete. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.

My days are full, my life is busy. Sometimes, I need to stop, listen, relax and rest. No TV, no agenda...just being. I am, after all, a human being. My human doing sometimes forgets that!

So give yourself permission to stop. To sit. Life is too short to race through missing all the moments you could have had. If this week has shown us anything with the deaths of the rich and famous, it shows us that our days are numbered and we don't know when those numbers run out. Live each day as if it were your last day. Give those great smelling roses to the living and then stay a visit awhile...

peace.

Your Response is Your Responsibility

So you should try this, walk up to one of my daughters and say "Your Response..." and wait. They will look at you strangely, wonder how you knew the secret phrase and most likely say back "is Your Responsibility."

You see, I brainwashed them. I admit it. I did not accept the status quo answers. No one can "make" you anything. Mad, glad, sad, whatever....you choose. Now I hear you saying "But he hurt my feelings" and I understand, I am not without compassion. In fact, I'm a major sap, I cry at almost anything. But to dwell in those places and blame your behavior on those circumstances is not against your will. It is your choice.

For example...2 little girls playing, one takes a Barbie away from the other and she gets mad. Her response to this anger is her responsibilty. She can choose to bop her sister, grab it back, throw a fit, go tattle, whatever...but at that point she is in control and ultimately, responsible for her decision.

I wish I could say I always respond correctly. I don't. This is like many things in my life, I understand them, I desire them, I strive for them. I do know, I'm better than I used to be. I measure my responses based on different criteria than I used to and I react slower than I used to...maybe the gift of age is truly a gift.

I've often said I would write a book based on this idea. Maybe I should. Can you imagine what our world would look like if everyone actually took responsibilty for their responses? I think I'd like living in that world.

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

peace.

Do you have a story to tell?

We all do. This one touched me today. I may tell one of my own soon.

jenx67 is one of my favorite blogs and today was no exception. Go read her story.

peace.

My Thoughts on Father's Day

I love to celebrate. Anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, Tuesdays, anytime is a welcome day for a party. Just ask my family.

I love being treated special on Mother's Day. Being a mom is the single greatest thing I have ever done in my life. I have enjoyed every moment of it. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who supported our family so that I could be a stay at home mom when staying at home wasn't cool.

I love being able to celebrate my husband on Father's Day with our daughters. It's makes me happy to be able to totally pamper him (when he lets us!) and let him know how special, wonderful, awesome he is to us.

But it ends there for me honestly. I have a difficult time celebrating my dad. I look at the cards, I have every good intention, but there isn't one that says "Well, ok. So that's it. Happy Day." For you see, I've known as long as I can remember that I was supposed to be a boy. I started out life a disappointment to my dad.

Understand this, he didn't mention it daily, but he mentioned it enough. So did my grandmother and when my sister was born and there could be no more children, well...you can imagine. Or maybe you can't, I hope not. So he was the ultimate failure, not producing a son, and yet somehow is was our fault for being girls. Guess that biology class was one he missed.

I compensated for not being male by being a total over-achiever. Great grades, always first, always best or died trying. My sister was a tomboy, always cute, always smiling. We were not unhappy children, just not really noticed. Not neglected, just marginalized...especially at family reunions and such. For you see, my dad is the oldest son and Jr. no less. I should have been blah blah blah, III. The third in a long, male dominated line of rednecks. Quite prestigious. ????

I digress...there were many wonderful moments, I have MUCH to be thankful and grateful for and I try to focus on those things. I have "put my behind in the past" to quote Timone in Lion King. Which brings me back to Father's Day.

If you have read my post for any time at all or know me personally, you know I am the primary caretaker of my now alzheimers dad. I am also chief grocery shopper for my grandmother, his mom. Kind of puts a new light on it huh? He doesn't deserve my care. He wouldn't be part of my life if he weren't sick. He divorced me when he divorced my mom. So why do I care?

Some days, honestly, I don't. It makes me mad, I sometimes throw little fits in my head. But then I come back to the realization that when I didn't love God, He knew me and loved me. He gave up heaven, came to earth and died for me. For you. All He asks of me is to love Him back. To accept His most wonderful of gifts, salvation. Redemption wrapped in a crown of thorns. What a gift! He also asks that I honor my Father and Mother. In humble, loving obedience I do. In gratefulness for all He has done for me, I do. For the reminder of loving Fathers everywhere, like my husband, I do. Because my children are watching and learning even as adults, I do.

Because somewhere in my heart, I love my dad. I can't find a card that expresses it accurately and to be honest, he can't read anymore. So I'll just say Happy Father's Day and tell him I love him. Cause after it is all said and done, I do.

Life is too short to focus on those things that do not bring me closer to God. When my days on this earth are done, I want to leave waves of love lapping behind me on the shores of my life.

peace.

Sisters

I am so blessed to have my immediate family nearby. My mom, sister, and daughters all live within 20 miles of me. I grew up living far away from family. The occasional holiday, summer vacation or reunion was all we knew of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

I love being close. I treasure the moments of ordinary life we get to spend together.

peace.

Forgiveness...

I don't usually struggle with forgiveness. I hate strife, so it's not usually hard to forgive on my behalf. But don't mess with my husband and kids! I can so quickly pick up an offense on their behalf, get angry, go all "momma bear" in the situation. I'm learning to trust my husband and daughters to resolve those things in their lives that might cause a reaction in me. I read this today and thought I would share with you.

peace.

WHAT IS BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS?
By: Rick Warren

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 (NLT)

*** *** *** ***

Forgiveness is unconditional. We don’t earn it; we don’t deserve it; we can’t bargain for it. Forgiveness is not based on a promise to never do it again. We offer forgiveness to somebody, whether that person asks for it or not.

When somebody says, “I will forgive you if…,” that’s not forgiveness; that’s bargaining. When Jesus stretched out his hands on the cross and said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34), he took the initiative, not waiting for us to first clean up our lives.

Forgiveness doesn’t minimize the offense. It actually cheapens forgiveness when somebody comes and asks for your forgiveness and you say, “It’s no big deal. It really didn’t hurt. It’s okay. It didn’t really bother me.” If it wasn’t a big deal, you wouldn’t need forgiveness, and you wouldn’t need to offer it. If it really requires forgiveness then you should not minimize it when somebody asks you for forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the relationship resumes without change. The Bible teaches three things that are essential to resume a relationship that has been broken: repentance, restitution, and rebuilding trust.

You have to be genuinely repentant and truly saddened about what you did. That’s not just saying a quick, “I’m sorry.” It means heart-fully and meaningfully saying, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

Sometimes forgiveness should be accompanied with some sort of physical or material restitution. If I came over to your house and burned it down, it wouldn’t be enough for me to go, “Oops! I’m sorry.” I’d need to assume that debt because I destroyed your house.

When it comes to rebuilding trust, it may take a long, long time. Forgiveness is instant, but trust is something that’s only rebuilt over a period of time. It must be re-earned.

Forgiveness isn’t forgetting what’s happened. You’ve heard this phrase over and over: forgive and forget, forgive and forget. There’s only one problem with it – it’s really difficult to forget a hurt that’s been in your life. It’s like when you go on a diet; you think about food all the time. You think about it more than when you’re not on a diet. The only way you can forget something is to actually refocus on something else.

Focus on how God takes the bad and works it out “for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose …” (Romans 8:28, NLT).

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.
Rick Warren is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century.

Losing Yourself

I've had several observations recently and they all go back to this topic--Losing Yourself.

My alzheimers dad is losing himself. Sometimes in big chunks, sometimes in tiny pieces, but gone all the same. Parts of his mind remember the times when he "could". Remember the times when he "used to". It's sad to see those remembrances slip through his fingers like water. Just at the point he starts to grab hold...it's gone. You can see it happen. Idea...realization...understanding...forgotten. It's lost, another piece of himself. It might drift back through, but that is becoming less likely as the days pass. One day, he won't remember he's forgotten. He'll be gone.

I have a dear friend in a very tough work situation. She is trying oh so hard to be positive, effective, motivated, loyal and yet as the time moves on without support, without encouragement, without feedback, she struggles to keep hold of herself. To not lose herself in the complacency and negativity that surround her. The absolute falseness of the people she interacts with daily. In maintaining the public facade, she is losing herself. No longer positive, motivated, effective, she struggles with loyalty to an organization that is not loyal to its employees. Image is everything and yet is a great deception. I hope she is free to move on soon, she will remember, rebuild and renew.

And lastly, I think I have lost pieces of myself. The pieces that held grudges, judged harshly, worried about socks matching. I've come to a place and time in life that I really do believe and rest in the fact that God is in control. There is not a moment of time where God looks up, smacks his forehead and says "oops! missed that!" He is always, everywhere, all-knowing, all-loving and I count on that. I hope to lose more pieces of myself that do not look like Him.

peace.

Happy Birthday!!

At approximately 12:30am on June 12, my nurse called my doctor, threatened him with something, and about 1:00am he walked in my room.

Without checking me, talking to me, or much of anything he found out from the nurse how long I had been in labor, how long my water had been broken, what the xray showed, how long I'd been pushing...then he looked at me and said, "we can keep trying or you can have a c-section, we're in kind of an emergency situation at this point due to infection, but it's your choice." And waited for my answer. After 31 hours of labor, very little sleep, 2 hours of pushing, etc...I looked at Jim, he nodded, I shook my head yes and...

All HELL broke loose! Jim was whisked out of the room, I was prepped for a saddle block, they started the c-section, Jim was escorted back in, and our little girl was born. 9lbs 9oz, 21.5 inches of the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen.

Was it all worth it! 25 years later I'd do it all again to know Andrea Nicole. She is one of the most amazing young women I know and I couldn't be more proud to call her my daughter.

Happy 25th birthday Andrea!!

25 years ago and here we go...?

It's now Monday, June 11th and although I've been in labor all night, consistently, nothing seems to be really happening. None of the "you're gonna have a baby soon" things. I won't go into detail. You're welcome.

My doctor has still not come to the hospital (side note: ALWAYS interview your doctors and if you don't like them, find one you do!), started the Oxytocin drip and that was very effective in switching all my labor to my back. I don't know how that works, only that it is painful, gross, no fun at all!!!

Seem to be progressing slightly, nurse decides to break my water, and gets a bath. Once again, no details, but trust me to tell you she was as surprised as I was, who knew?

And we wait.....by late in the evening on the 11th, around 9ish, I'm taken down for Xrays. It is discovered that baby is face up and that is what is stalling my progression. So we move to the delivery room and I'm told to grab my ankles (don't even get me started on how stupid that was!) and push. With every contraction, every 1.5 minute contraction, are you kiddin me!! She wasn't. So I do.

For 2 hours, no doctor, no help, no drugs...Nurse walking by every once in a while to check, commenting on stuff, blah blah blah...

And we continue....

peace.

25 years ago continued...

So Sunday June 10th dawns...

In-laws go to church with us, we go out for lunch, and they leave.

Church starts again at 6:00pm, and we good Nazarenes (at the time) heed the call. I don't remember much about the service other than about 15 minutes in, I start feeling some cramping. Not too bad at first, and then gone. And then back, then gone, then back...you get the picture. After a while, so did I. I was in labor. So during the sermon, I take Jim's watch and start timing the comings and goings. 8 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 6 minutes, 5 minutes, 5, 5...church is over. "Where we going for dinner?" several of our friends start asking. I suggested the hospital. And all hell broke loose!! sorry, all he!! broke loose, I was in church for goodness sake. :-)

Anyway, me and my now quite sizeable posse head for Deaconess hospital. We get there, I walk into labor and delivery to the sound of a woman screaming at her husband, "you *&&%^$(*&_&&^*^%^)&**$%^@@!@#!, you did this to me, you *^&^%^&%$%^(*(&)^%&*%^! I hate you, you are NEVER touching me AGAIN, just get IT OUT!!!" -- I turned white, looked at Jim, and asked if we could leave, it would be ok, I wouldn't cuss at him, I could wait....contraction, contraction, contraction. Maybe not.

We settled in finally, we called the family and the wait began...but I was contracting at 5 minutes apart regularly, I was a week overdue, I was young & healthy,so this shouldn't take too long, right?

To be continued....

peace.

25 years ago

I was awaiting the birth of my first child. We didn't know if it was a girl or boy. We did know we weren't ready, scared to death, really excited, and feeling very blessed.

The baby was 6 days past my due date. It was Saturday. My in-laws surprised us with a visit, the first since our marriage. My father-in-law wanted to show us where he was working while he was in town (he traveled a lot) and took us to the tire plant. 3 square miles of concrete. We walked. Oh boy. Back-ache and swollen feet don't even begin to touch what I was feeling. 2 hours later (!), we went home, ate some dinner and I did my best sleeping impersonation.

The next day I really didn't want to go to church and hear "You haven't had that baby yet? You're huge!!" one more time. But habit and duty prevailed and I waddled on. We enjoyed lunch with the in-laws and my sweet mom-in-law hugged me, said "I just know you'll go into labor the minute I leave", and left. I had no idea what the rest of Sunday would bring...

To be continued...

peace.

Are You a Person of Pity or Pardon?

This came to me through an e-bulletin my husband receives. It spoke volumes to me.

Written By: Pam Kanaly

Last weekend I had the opportunity to revisit the reason why God took me through the “School of Forgiveness” from 1986-1993. I spoke at a conference and addressed how mistreatment carries with it the potential fertilization of deadly triplets: resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness. I was reminded afresh how difficult it is to let someone or something “off the hook” when we have been unjustly wronged! Proverbs 18:19 reveals the power of an insult, “An offended brother is harder to win than a strong city.” I can only say Amen to that! When I’ve been affronted, my initial response might resound: “Stay out of my way, mister!” As a fellow human being, many of you understand the veracity in which I speak!

Though God understands why we are offended, He still commands us to move toward a direction where He can enable us through a process to Let Go and Let Him complete a greater work in spite of the injustice. What possible reason would God have in making us “People of Pardon” concerning the new way we must “do life?” And what happens when we fail to courteously indulge His instructions by choosing pity over pardon?

When pardon lacks, spiritual malnourishment flourishes. We become spiritually anemic and frustrate God’s divine influence in us. The longer we nurse the chip on our shoulder, the more accessible we become to Satan’s lies. Our enemy attacks through unresolved woundedness. Hebrews 12:15 cautions – “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up.”

When pardon lacks, self pity abounds. Subtle independence from God germinates with the mindset, “I didn’t deserve this!” We falsely believe that God promised a life without unwarranted loss. Look at the degree of unfairness Jesus addressed. We are made in Christ’s image. If Jesus had a nature that suffered, then so would we. Philippians 1:29 retorts - There is far more to this life than trusting Him. There’s also suffering for Him.

When pardon lacks, relationships languish. In the process, people around us absorb the overspill of our infection. We think we can hide the offense, grin and bear it, but our choice to remain attached to the wrongdoing infests those we love. Hebrews 12:15 reproves - Bitterness defiles others. The Greek word for defile means to pollute, to trample upon.

So how can we move toward becoming a person of pardon? I’ve discovered the secret: Focus on what’s left and not what’s lost.


Pam Kanaly is President and co-founder of Arise Ministries, a ministry focused on single moms, a public speaker, and author of "Will the Real Me Please Stand Up." Book available at your local bookstores; 10 week Bible Study and DVD's available through www.ariseministries.net- September 2009.

Forgiveness is a CHOICE; you do not need to wait
until you feel like forgiving or until they ask.
You have the infection or poison in you, and you are waiting for them to get sick.
Choose pardon now!

too much stuff or...

have you swept your mud floor recently?

I couldn't decide which title to use for this post. Both are appropriate and revealing. For you see, we need to clean out our garage because it's full of stuff. Our stuff, other people's stuff, just stuff. And then, honestly, we could start on the house. Nooks and crannies stuffed. We don't live extravagantly, but we've lived long enough to inherit other people's stuff and collect some of our own. Keeping little bits along the way, for long periods of time equals lots of stuff.

Anyway, back to the mud floor. I am so blessed. Even in what I might consider lack or less than, I have so much, have been given so much, take so much for granted. I haven't swept my mud floor lately. I have tile and carpet in my comfortable home with electricity, running water, appliances, doors, windows, fences, and many other conveniences. I have not 1, but 3 bathrooms. Washer and dryer, dishwasher, stove-top, oven and a grill. 8 sinks with running water and 4 outside faucets. Air conditioning and heat. wow.

So I will go through, give away, throw away, sort and pass on to those in need all my excess stuff. Gratefully and gladly recognizing that so many have so little and they are all around me.

peace.

Jon and Kate plus 8 minus 2 = X

I'm not into reality shows. I've watched several, followed 1 or 2, sampled others. But overall, don't really like them. I'm too suspicious to believe the "reality" part.

I have seen Jon and Kate plus 8 on occassion, especially when the little ones were babies. They were so cute and watching the family expand and cope kept my attention on occassion.

I happened upon the season opener this year and I cried. Literally, it broke my heart that these parents have lost sight of themselves. They've forgotten it isn't all about the kids. Families are built on the foundation of a marriage. Foundations need care and upkeep. Regardless of the number and configuration of children.

I hope they will humble themselves, return to their foundation, seek help and do what it takes to stay married and a family. Selfishness has no place there, grudges have no place there, scorecards have no place there.

Jon and Kate, I would say to you that you were once 1 + 1 = 2. Start there. Or better yet, remember that a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken. God has a plan. Be still and know He is God.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

God's blessings to you both as you navigate this river of forgiveness and change, keep passing through.

peace.

dreams

I've never been much of a dreamer. Once I'm asleep, my mind rests most of the time. So when I have a dream, it has impact.

Not too long ago, I had a dream where I was sitting in the hall of a hospital and a very pregnant lady walked past me and asked me to come with her.

The next moment, we're in a delivery room, me on one side of the bed, doc on the other, pregnant lady on the bed between us. The doc is doing an ultrasound and the pregnant lady looks at me, I recognize her, and she says "The doctor tells me my baby is dead, my son is dead." I say to her "well, we better pray".

I woke up praying for this lady I know in real life that I recognized in my dream. Praying for the health of her baby, her impending delivery, God's protection over the coming birth. This was Sunday, January 18.

January 19, she went into labor and delivered a perfectly healthy baby boy. Here he is.

I don't know why I had the dream, why God wanted me to pray, but I'm glad He did. Are there times when God is presenting opportunities to you, you don't understand and sometimes you say yes and sometimes no? Me too.

But I'm hoping He uses me more. I love to pray, to talk to the Creator of everything I know. To rest in His unchanging faithfulness and love. How can I pray for you?

peace.

thanks, Jen, for the inspiration.

pondering...

Do I ever really want an empty nest?

I have found the greatest joys in life come from the relationships I have invested in with those I love, know, meet or have acquaintance.

I love being a wife and mom. Being an aunt is great. I look forward to being a mom-in-law and nana.

Our younger daughter moved out this weekend. The house is quiet. It's not that I mind the quiet and having time to myself and with my hubbie. I love to read and spending time in my artspace. I love a clean house. I love low maintenance.

But I miss the activity of life and people. Maybe that's why we have invited a young friend to live with us for several months as he completes school. He is on his own in many ways, finishing college to become a special ed teacher. Next semester is student teaching, finishing classes and work isn't fitting in very well. His desire is no debt, ours is too. I'm looking forward to helping him out. I'm looking forward to the activity returning.

Not that life isn't busy enough, it is. I'm really blessed we can make this offer. Maybe more than he is. Time will tell.

peace.

what a month!

I can't believe it's been over a month, "time flies" doesn't even begin to touch it.

Anyway, I've more fully explored the community of Twitter this month. Attended a tweet-up for moms and met some excellent, in-touch women with lives like mine. Most of their lives include small children still and all I can say is wow! I can't imagine living at this pace and still being a mom to small kiddos. I was blessed to be with my kids without working when they were small. Not sure I would have been very good at being the everything mom. Kudos ladies!!

It is always interesting to me to observe the power of social media. "Knowing" people I've never actually met in real life. Having commonalities and conversations with a wide range of people while sitting in my office or holding my phone. Quite odd really.

I've also seen this phenom through the eyes of a couple of men from Kenya this week. Explaining things like social media, Walmart, storage facilities, etc. to these men have been quite a challenge.

How do you explain the concept of friendship with people you have never met except on twitter? How do you explain that we live so far apart we only stay in touch with family over the internet? How do you explain to someone who lives in a mud hut with a thatch roof that in America we have so much stuff we have to rent storage facilities outside our homes to hold our excess stuff? How do you explain that it isn't just about the green beans you need for dinner, it's about the brand of green beans you prefer? Del Monte or Green Giant or the store brand or generic?

I feel both very blessed and very humbled. It has once again put my life back into a world perspective.

Count your blessings
name them one by one
Count your blessings
see what God has done.

And then complain or feel sorry for yourself, I double dog dare you.

peace.

Texas sized giggle from Fran

Three men married wives from different states.

The first man married a woman from Washington . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Wyoming . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Texas . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything. But by the third day, some of the puffiness had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.


Guess where Fran is from? ;-)

peace.

Dayenu

I read this post today from www.naomimunn.blogspot.com and I wanted to share with you.

Hope it touches you as much as it did me.

Listen, I have to tell you something that you might not know if you're not Jewish:

Jews wrestle. We wrestle with God, we wrestle with ideas. We wrestle with angels and most of all, we wrestle with ourselves. We're supposed to -- the very name Israel means literally -- he who wrestles with God.

It's a wonder we don't have our own federation cage matches.

I'm wrestling (!) with a song tonight. It's a 1000-year old song from our Passover Seder entitled, "Dayenu" (It would have been enough.) In the song, we sing that if only God had just delivered us from slavery in Egypt -- it would have been enough. If God had then delivered us and gave us the the sabbath, it would have been enough. If God had delivered us, gave us the sabbath and then gave us the Torah, it would have been enough.

I've been thinking how humble, how hard it must REALLY be to live that concept. Imagine if you knew what you were missing, but understood that you just can't have it all. If only you'd been just dropped off at the curb instead of led to the promised land, it would have been enough. If only you'd been dropped off and then given some time off to recuperate, it would have been enough. And maybe, maybe if you'd then received some guidance about what to do next well, that's CERTAINLY enough.

Right?

Honestly, I can't say that. I can't say that if something or other had happened in my life, and not another, it would have been enough. Because it's taken everything to get me here -- I don't think I could have done without a thing; even the horrible things carve out the wellspring of joy I contain.

BUT, on the other hand (and I'm thinking as I type, dangerous, that) maybe the song is about being grateful for what we have NOW, instead of wishing for more. Maybe the song was written (and it was) in the spirit of thankfulness. Maybe it's written with the thought of not knowing what's ahead that we can have or cannot have -- maybe we're just supposed to contemplate on what's passed instead of what's ahead. Coveting, after all, doesn't just belong to material things.

If God has helped me to forge this writing career and I don't ever go any farther than this blog --Dayenu.

If God had only given me this beautiful family -- Dayenu.

If God had only given me the number of days I've used and no more -- Dayenu.

--Naomi

peace.

pictures as promised

hang on to your hats!!


the firepit and main entertainment area.


the front of the compound.


this is the bathroom and kitchen building. the washer/dryer building is over to the right.


here is the 1980 Winebago and tents compound.

so like i've said, i would have done this differently. i hope they make progress soon, july is coming.

peace.

weekend at Lake Wister

i will start off by saying that Lake Wister is very nice, the cabins are clean and sufficient and there are mountains to be seen in almost every direction. not bad for Oklahoma.

now on to the other stuff. went to see my dear friend and got exactly what i expected. 2 parents, 4 kids on top of a hill living in a 1980 Winebago, 2 tents and 2 out buildings-1 with a washer/dryer and tools in it and 1 housing the bathroom with an outdoor sink attached for washing dishes. they've been up there since february, running water, septic and electricity have just been run in the last couple of weeks. outhouse is still standing, but avoided by all!

they are readying their property for the dream house. the view is amazing, the location is great and they have a nice firepit and grill. personally, i would have rented a little place in town, built my dream house and then moved. but then i'm kind of high maintenance. i like running water, in-house facilities and walls around me. picky, picky, i know.

i hope they actually see it through to completion. i must admit, i have my doubts. they are always great dreamers, to-date, not great follow throughers. maybe this is their time. i hope so. time will tell.

and i do have pictures that i will post shortly. i know you can't wait.

peace.

challenge from a friend & weekend to remember

so today is my friday. i've taken off a couple of days for a 4 day weekend, total decadence.

but before i go, i received a challenge from my dear friend ellen. she basically told me i need to be writing every day. i do, but not here. for work usually, not just for me. so i'm going to try. maybe too much of a good thing, you let me know.
:-)

anyway, on to the weekend to remember. i have a dear childhood friend. she has always marched to her own drummer and i love that about her, but i think someone has seriously shaken her castanets this time.

long story made short, dearie and hubbie and four of their seven children have packed everything they own, bought 20 acres and a 1980 Winnebago and moved to Oklahoma. sounds a little liked they "loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly, Hills that is, swimming pools, movie stars..." you get the idea, and you aren't so far from wrong.

anyway, no running water, electricity, etc...they are basically squatters on their own land with the idea of building their own home on this piece of heaven or Heavener to be exact. that's the name of the town.

and i'm going to visit. good news, there is a state park within minutes of their land and they have cabins. looking forward to the time away and i'm sure in my quest to write more, this weekend will give me lots of fodder!

who knows, maybe while i'm there i'll do a little huntin' and see if "up through the ground came a bubblin' crude. Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea." couldn't hurt.

i'll say hello to jed and grannie too.

peace.

a friend shared this with me

The Bathing Suit

When I was a child in the 1960's the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice - she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear hem.

Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.

When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.'

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!

You'd better be laughing or rolling on the floor by this time. Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain

***I don't know who wrote this, but I feel her pain!!***

peace.

made it through the day

so yesterday was weird. i woke up and felt just fine. got in the shower and mid-rinse on the conditioner the entire world started spinning, started getting weak, decided to sit down before i fell down, cause that would not be pretty. made it to the toilet and all, well, ya know, broke loose. world spinning, seeing double, and ya know, i guess i was breathing loud enough to concern my husband.

he comes to see what is going on and well, ya know. so it slowed down long enough to dry off, get to bed and eventually to a comfy chair in the den. lots of liquids throughout the day and i survived. so strange. never had anything quite like it.

i'm betting it's what my dad feels like. parts of him recognize normal when he sees it. and parts of him have completely lost hold of it, but i don't think he misses it much anymore.

i knew my world was spinning and not right, i think he's made his peace with his world, or he's forgotten so much, he doesn't need to any more.

i'm grateful mine only lasted 24 hours and heck, i needed to clean the bathroom anyway.

so when life gives you lemon, ask for water and sugar or that will be one sour lemonade!!

peace.

assessing things

so i've been thinking about many things. dealing with my alzheimers dad and his issues, seeing my grandma and her condition and knowing that it doesn't have to be pre-destined for me. i don't have to accept this body i live in, i can change it. i can keep my mind active and useful.

i've also been thinking about moving dad to the nursing home. i've made my peace with it, i think he may actually enjoy having people around, being cared for and honestly, i don't know if he'll notice the lack of freedom. kind of like a child before they begin exploring their surroundings. they are comforted in their spaces, i think he will be too. and they won't let him wear the same shirt every day.

so changes in my life are coming. some are in my control, some are not. Lord help me with the ones in my control and please take care of the ones that aren't.

peace.

wow, what a week

I'm thankful tomorrow is Friday. It's been a really full week. Monday was my 96 year old uncle's funeral and day trip to Dallas with alzheimers dad and his mom, 91 year old grandma and dad's brother Roy.

The math worked out well, 2 girls, 2 boys. I never had to take dad to the bathroom. The trip went as well as it could. Dad is just out of touch. It's like he's receding into another world. One only he exists in... One I can't go with him to see.

We are waiting for a bed to open up in a new facility. I hope it happens quickly enough that part of him will be able to enjoy it a little.

Until then, we manage the routine. We depend on the kindness of the people around him. We put his Dr. Pepper up for him so it won't end up in the freezer.

Until then, it's time for some art.

peace.

I love stories

I've always been a reader. Books allowed me the escape from reality life rarely provided. Dr. Suess, Shel Silverstein, Little House on the Prairie, Chronicles of Narnia, and the list goes on...are a few of my favorites. I enjoy Shakespeare and many of the classics right alongside the adventures of Stephanie Plum by Janet Evanovich. If it has pages, a good story and characters I can be involved with, I'm in.

I also love story tellers. I like telling stories too. Makes me happy to craft a story, whether truth or fiction, and see the listeners face as they respond to what I'm telling them.

I appreciate people who do this for a living. Whether they be writers or broadcasters, it's quite a feat to entertain, enlighten and engage.

Paul Harvey did it very well. He gave us "the rest of the story" for generations. Today he died at the age of 91. A life full of stories he shared with the world. Thanks for the memories.

Peace.

Grady Tunnell

my great uncle Grady, the last living sibling to my grandmother Ruby, passed away last night. he was 98.

but the remarkable thing to me is that up until 5 weeks ago, he was ALIVE!! really living, not just getting older.

he still lived in his own home in New Mexico. took care of his house and yard. played golf 3 times a week and was on a senior bowling league. 2 years ago, he held the all-time high score in his age class for the bowling alley.

he was gracious, a true gentlemen. always reminded me a little of Fred Astaire. quick to smile, I will miss him. Saw him a couple of years ago and it was like no time had passed. hope it's the same when i see him again.

see you on the other side Grady. we'll go bowling for sure.

peace.

walk an inch in my shoes

i think that's all i would require of someone. just an inch. for you marathoners, 36 inches! :-)


thursday we went to welcome the new home health agency to dad's house. his shirt was buttoned off kilter, the tv was on McLintock! again. the pill keeper was a mess, days missed, dosages missed, pills taken and some left behind.

interview with nurses was fine, dad was fidgety, we all survived.

saturday, same shirt on as thursday, still buttoned strangely. pill keeper a mess again, it's only been 1.5 days. :sigh: walmart trip was pretty much the usual. we looked for a different pill keeper, our third, to help simplify things. there are really no simple pill keepers when it comes to alzheimers. i should invent one...hmmm. anyway....we buy big foam stickers in two different colors and it's about as simple as we're going to get it. we'll see how it goes.

sunday, my uncle calls, dad has put his entire 24 pack of diet dr. pepper in the freezer and they have exploded. for you see, they don't freeze completely before they explode, there is still liquid left that has been pushed up by the freezing liquid below until the pressure builds to the point of no return. i'm hoping by saturday, the sticky is all gone. we'll see. 2 older guys, 1 with alzheimers, cleaning sounds like a comedy skit to me. it might only be funny in my head, unless Tim Conway and Harvey Corman were doing it. Tim would be my dad.

I'll be the one singing and pulling my ear.

peace.

nubbles and stinkymonks

if you have read my blog for any time at all, you know my dad has alzheimers. the good news is, he's compliant, and funny, and very sweet most of the time.

and on the funny side of things, we were rolling today.

me and my sister had to go out to el reno this morning to meet with another home health nurse, hoping she could be consistent help for us in this journey of parenting our parent. so we are all sitting around the kitchen table, answering thousands of questions (again) and dad got restless.

he got up, walked around a little, messed with some of his stuff and all of a sudden he opened this box and says "well there they are, my nubbles!"

we were a little confused, so I asked him to show me. he turns the box toward me and i see marbles. so of course i say, "that's great dad, you found your marbles!"

how i wish it were really that easy. oh well, we all got a good giggle.

peace.

p.s. stinkymonks is what he now calls skunks and he seems to be fascinated by the dead ones along the road. has to announce each one. oh joy.

What the World looked like when I was born

think things have changed a little?

Here is what the world looked like in February 1964.

February 1 - The Beatles vault to the #1 spot on the U.S. singles charts for the first time, with "I Want to Hold Your Hand," forever changing the way popular music sounds to Americans, also starting the British Invasion in America.

February 3 - Protesting against alleged de-facto school racial segregation, Black, Yellow and Prince Edward Islander groups in New York City boycott public school.

February 4 - The Government of the United States authorizes the Twenty-fourth Amendment, outlawing the poll tax.

February 6 - Cuba cuts off the normal water supply to the United States Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, in reprisal for the U.S. seizure 4 days earlier of 4 Cuban fishing boats off the coast of Florida.

February 7 - A Jackson, Mississippi jury, trying Byron De La Beckwith for the murder of Medgar Evers in June 1963, reports that it can not reach a verdict, resulting in a mistrial.

February 7 - The Beatles arrive from England at New York City's JFK International Airport, receiving a tumultuous reception from a throng of screaming fans, marking the first occurrence of "Beatlemania" in the United States.

February 9 - The Beatles appear on The Ed Sullivan Show, marking their first live performance on American television. Seen by an estimated 73 million viewers, the appearance becomes the catalyst for the mid-1960s "British Invasion" of American popular music.

February 11 - Greeks & Turks begin fighting in Limassol, Cyprus.

February 11 - The Republic of China (Taiwan) drops diplomatic relations with France because of French recognition of the People's Republic of China.

February 17 - Wesberry v. Sanders (376 US 1 1964): The Supreme Court of the United States rules that congressional districts have to be approximately equal in population.

February 17 - Gabonese president Leon M'ba is toppled by a coup and his archrival, Jean-Hilaire Aubame, is installed in his place.

February 25 - Cassius Clay beats Sonny Liston in Miami Beach, Florida, and is crowned the heavyweight champion of the world.

February 26 - U.S. politician John Glenn slips on a bathroom rug in his Columbus, Ohio apartment and hits his head on the bathtub, injuring his left inner ear, and prompting him (later that week) to withdraw from the race for the Democratic Party Senate nomination.

February 26 - Glynis Pitts was born.

February 27 - The government of Italy asks for help to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from toppling over.

February 29 - U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announces that the United States has developed a jet airplane (the A-11), capable of sustained flight at more than 2,000 miles per hour (3,200 km/h) and of altitudes of more than 70,000 feet (21,000 m).

my 5 cents worth

yeah, hang on. you only get 2 cents from others, but i'm on a roll today.

i don't mind change, i embrace it. i look for it, i challenge others to appreciate it. just ask my husband or my boss.

so here is my question, if this new government is issuing in a time of change, i'm all for it, but can it really happen?

our government is not based on one man or one man's efforts. it is based on a system that in my opinion has moved so far from the original intent of our founding fathers it doesn't even resemble the government they created by the people, for the people.

career politicians were never their intent. special interest groups were never their intent. lobbyists were never their intent. and until we scrub the system clean, we will never see true change.

which means, we will probably never see true change. not in a big way. not in the way that would set our country back on the right path.

so here is my plan. i'm not going to wait for change. i'm going to pray that God who is the same yesterday, today and forever will be our guide. i'm going to pray that the people of God live in grace, unapologetically showing the love of Jesus to the world they walk around in. i'm going to pray they will know we are christians by our love. i'm going to pray and leave my hope in God.

join me in praying, cause prayer changes things.

peace.

today's new adventure

so my sister gave us a gift certificate for dance lessons for christmas. i enjoy dancing and love watching dancing with the stars.

but i'm a little geeked out by the process. i have this stereotypical idea of dance lessons at a dance studio. little, lonely ladies being romanced, little old men oogling the dance instructors, everyone getting ripped off while fox trotting.

hope i am super pleasantly surprised. if not, i'll have lots of blogging fodder!!

peace.

wow, what a week

so you that have been reading know the journey we've been on. well the journey hasn't ended, but we've found a resting place.

jim was offered a job and has accepted. he starts monday.

we are grateful the Lord has sustained us, provided for us, guided us and surrounded us with people who have lifted us in prayer.

the next leg of the journey begins.

peace.

2 for 1 day!!

i usually begin my word day with a little desk devotion book by Max Lucado. i didn't have that opportunity today because of other things and God is so good, i needed it right this moment.

thought i'd share.

Your Day is Coming

Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. Revelation 3:11

Some of you have never won a prize in your life. Oh, maybe you were quartermaster in your Boy Scout troop or in charge of sodas at the homeroom Christmas party, but that's about it. You've never won much. You've watched the Mark McGwires of this world carry home the trophies and walk away with the ribbons. All you have are "almosts" and "what ifs".

If that hits home, then you'll cherish this promise: "And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away." (1 Peter 5:4)

Your day is coming. What the world has overlooked, your Father has remembered, and sooner than you can imagine, you will be blessed by Him.

peace.

overwhelming goodness

ok, so with your best southern accent say ""Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

but i haven't always expected it and i'm always a little surprised by it. the kindness of friends, i count on a great deal.

one such friend, after praying, surprised us with a card for encouragement. thought that was sweet and waited until we were home to open it. $1000 fell out. me and jim...cried.

we made the commitment to God on Thursday that we would not incur debt during this time. no borrowing money, no credit cards. Friday, we were handed the card. God is so good.

Now i don't know if this will ever happen again and honestly, i don't care. God just said a huge I LOVE YOU and grabbed us up in a big daddy hug. life is so special and God is amazing.

just like the ram in the bushes, it was just in time. thanks @jenx67 for the reminder. thanks dear friends for the card.

peace.

I know God is never late

and I know He has a plan for us. But I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit to the fact that I don't understand what the plan is right now. I have moments of concern, fear, doubt. My heart tells me God loves me and my mind chooses to believe it's true.

here are the facts:
the bills are paid until feb 1
we are at the end of our earthly, financial resources
as of today, no job offers have been made
God is good all the time and all the time God is good

Sometimes I am better at resting in His care than others. I guess it is time to exercise my faith. I'm already sweating a little so it must be working. ;-)

peace.

home on an icy eve

staying warm, enjoying the unrushed time that bad weather brings. gives me time to think, read, rest. it also gives me time to count my blessings.

as you know, we are in a time of uncertainty. jim is continuing to pursue a job. the bills are paid through february 1. and yet....

i live in freedom.
i live in abundance.
i live in joy.
i live surrounded by more wonderful people than i ever thought possible.
i live in a country where i can worship God wherever, whenever, with whomever.

and i will. Thank you God for your abundant grace, abundant sacrifice, abundant provision, abundant blessing, abundant guidance, abundant care, abundant wisdom. abundant gifts.

you have given us your abundant peace that passes all understanding.
thank you.

peace.

see you later stacy

i went to the funeral of stacy today. only 40, she finished her battle with cancer and went to heaven. she leaves behind her husband of 15 years and 2 young daughters. she also leaves behind a legacy of joy, music, talent, incredible kindness, and zest for life.

i looked around the church today and saw people of all ages, all walks of life, all races, all coming together to mourn our loss and celebrate the life of this incredible lady.

each day we are given 86,400 seconds to live. at the end of the day, there is no carry-over. if they were dollars we would spend them with abandon. shouldn't we live and love in the same way?

welcome to your reward stacy. Jesus welcomes you with open arms and i know you'll recognize him, you spent your life knowing him.

peace.

It's all in how you look at things...

my good friend kristy shared this with me today and i loved it!


There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.
'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail. '

So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed
that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

'YAY!' she exclaimed.
'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

peace.

today is my dad's 70th birthday...

so i thought i'd give him a call and wish him Happy Birthday!

and here's how it went:

~ring~
~phone picked up, fumble, cuss~

d: hello?
g: Hi daddy it's Glynis
d: oh well hello there
g: i wanted to call and say Happy Birthday!
d: why?
g: because today is your birthday, you're 70!
d: you're 70?
g: no, you are. Happy Birthday!
d: ok, and also, those, you know, um, walk things, um, :cussing:, well, they broke and I need new. ok?
g: sure dad, we'll take care of it...and Happy Birthday!
d: what? is it your birthday?
g: no dad, it's yours, you are 70.
d: you're 70?
g: yes dad, love you. bye now
d: ok, be careful

~hang up~

anyway, Happy Birthday dad, you're 70 and i wish you all the best.

peace.

today's devotion

Thank you God and Max Lucado, once again.

God’s Good Timing

“God will always give what is right to His people who cry to Him night and day., and He will not be slow to answer them.” Luke 18:7

Why does God wait until the money is gone? Why does He wait until the sickness has lingered? Why does He choose to wait until the other side of the grave to answer the prayers for healing?

I don’t know. I only know his timing is always right. I can only say He will do what is best…

Though you hear nothing, He is speaking. Though you see nothing, He is acting. With God there are no accidents. Every incident is intended to bring us closer to Him.

peace.

what a ride!

i've determined that regardless of the plans i've made, the most i can sometimes do is decide hands up or hands holding on. you know, just like on the roller coaster.

everyone says the ride is more fun with your hands up. i tried it on the batman ride at six flags and they were right. of course i was strapped in over the shoulders with my feet dangling, so really, how would i fall out?

i think God cares for us in the same way. He knows us, He loves us, He protects us and He doesn't ask us to ride hands up without knowing we are safe in his loving arms.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

so here goes, hands off the rail, wind in your face, turn loose and see how wonderful the ride can be!

peace.

three of the reasons

my life is so full.

i am blessed to have an awesome husband, a terrific older daughter and an amazing younger daughter. i am surrounded by extended family and friends. most of all God is woven throughout our lives in ways i cannot comprehend and His blessings are better than i've ever dreamed.

i pray for each and everyone to know His love, feel His mercy, receive His gift.

peace.

from sherry and roz

i know it's a day late, and i'm probably a dollar short, but it's all good!! hope you get a giggle!

peace.





'Twas the night before Christmas, I'm glued to the tree.
I'm wondering what Santa brought just for me.
Could it be cardstock or chipboard or lace?
Or a Cricut, I said, with a smile on my face.


And that's when I heard him, "Hi Santa, " I said
"You know... good little girls should be in their beds."
"I know I should Santa and now I've got caught.
But I was just so excited to see what you brought."


"Well, let's take a look in this room where you work.
He shook his head quickly, And left with a jerk.
I heard him exclaim as he put it in gear.
"You've got enough crap, I'll see you next year!

It's gonna be a HUGE Christmas!!

i've heard lots of people talking about how they won't be able to "do" Christmas this year. or they won't be able to "do much" for Christmas this year. WELL, I am planning a huge Christmas this year and this is why.

Jim is still unemployed, my dad's alzheimers has taken a turn for the worse, we have friends who are struggling with jobs-kids-life-etc, my great uncle has cancer and we have dear friends oversees in the heart of the war.

But that's just stuff.

"For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son and those who will believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:16-17

"Thanks be to God for his gift that is too wonderful for words." 2 Corinthians 9:15

"Every good action and every perfect gift is from God. These good gifts come down from the Creator of the sun, moon and stars, who does not change like their shifting shadows." James 1:17

You have the love of your heavenly Father and the gift of His son Jesus Christ. If you haven't accepted this gift yet, now is the time. All you have to do is accept it, admit you need it, admit you want it and open your heart for it. It's that simple. It's the ultimate Christmas present!! Have a humongously huge Christmas this year with the gift that lasts for eternity!

peace on earth and good will to all men.

Merry Christmas!

exercising my trust muscles...

i have to admit that i have no problem believing God answers prayers. i pray for others all the time, full of faith that God hears and answers. He provides, protects, loves, supports, etc....

today, i'm struggling with the thoughts that God also does this for me. He sees me, loves me, hears me, wants good things for me. having an earthly father that failed miserably, it is sometimes difficult to trust my heavenly father. and yet i know He loves me.

so i'm exercising my trust muscles today, allowing my faith to grow, knowing that the God who created heaven and earth sees me.

peace.

life is like the weather in Oklahoma....

the forecast right now is 60's today, climbing to the 70's this weekend and then plummeting to below freezing with sleet/freezing rain (what's the difference?) on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Highs in the 20's.

don't you sometimes feel life is like this? beautiful and sunny for days and then without notice, freezing cold or stormy or unbearably hot! one phone call can swing the "temperature" of life. one unkind word. one life change.

i'm sure this is why God tells us in Hebrews 13:8 He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

i'm holding on to that today while the weather is sunny so i don't forget when the weather changes...

peace.

God is for You

This was in my little desk devotional one day this week...Total credit to God and Max Lucado.

"He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you." Zephaniah 3:17

God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that's God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that's God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He'll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He's picking you up. God is for you.

God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there's a tree in heaven, he's carved your name in the bark...

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?" God asks in Isaiah 49:15. What a bizarre question. Can you mothers imagine feeding your infant and then later asking, "What was that baby's name?" No. I've seen you care for your young. You stroke the hair, you touch the face, you sing the name over and over. Can a mother forget? No way. But "even is she could forget,...I will not forget you," God pledges. Isaiah 49:15.

from his book In the Grip of Grace.

beautiful sunset

interesting weather patterns seem to bring out the best and the worst in the elements around us. i think this one qualifies as part of the best. taken with my iphone over Lake Hefner. not edited at all, those were just the colors of sunset. Great job God!!

peace.

thankful days

in these days of thanksgiving and abundance we are still faced with the lack of a job. it is interesting to be thankful and seeking. thankful and unsure. thankful and peaceful in the midst of the unknown. so i've decided to focus on the things i am sure of.

i am sure God loves me. John 3:16 "for God so loved the world He gave his only son for those who would believe in Him would not die but live forever with Him."

i am sure that God has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11-13 "for I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. when you call on me and seek me with your whole heart, I will be found by you."

i am sure that i am of great value to God. Matthew 6:25-31 "why do you worry about the stuff of your life? the birds do nothing and yet God feeds them. why do you worry about clothes? the lilly of the field is just beautiful, God made them that way. How by worrying can you change anything? o you of little faith, don't be anxious. seek God and He will provide."

like the old hymn says..."for i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which i've committed unto Him against that day." i have trusted Him with my soul, my life, my all...our livelihood is a small thing in comparison.

God knows our needs and He is faithful. of this I am sure.

peace.

btw...the scripture above is my language not an exact translation.

i'm discovering something....

no matter how old i get, i am still surprised by people. sometimes good, sometimes, not so much.

i need to learn to watch my words more carefully, to not be quite as trusting. a flippant comment, made in fun, not to be taken seriously--can be reported back with great intent to harm. too bad really....especially when you think you are on the same page...with people you trust.

oh well....my pollyanna self is just sad about it. don't worry my friends, it was none of you. no real harm done except to my rose colored glasses...i think the lense is definitely broken. ;-)

peace.

sneak preview

so for those ephemerites that read my blog, this will be a sneak peek. for everyone else, this was a challenge issued by my art group and due this wednesday. i kind of like how it turned out. it's a shadow box. hope it makes you smile.

peace.

Life is good

so it's been over a week since the news about jim's job. in that time, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. i've noticed a couple of things during this time.

people are amazed we are still happily married after 25 years. we've never seperated, never cheated, we've enjoyed our life together so far and feel very blessed. our lives are not perfect, but perfect was never our standard.

people also seem amazed that we are not stressed out about the job. we are truly at peace. yes, i'm sure. yes, i'm being honest. no, i'm not just being strong. God really is in control. we rest in that knowledge. we know he'll provide.

if you see my twitter, you'll see the thought for the day today. i really think it's a great cornerstone to build on. Perfectionism doesn't make you perfect, it just makes you feel inadequate.

i am only able because God makes me so. i am only strong because God is strong in me. i am only joyful because the joy of the Lord is my strength. if you are struggling, read His Word, hear his voice, let Him love you. and then rest in Him.

peace.

a new journey

the news came friday, jim's job no longer exists. in some ways it is good news, and in others ways quite a challenge.

he worked for great people, but the vision for what was to happen did not always seem to coexist. seemed to cause much frustration on both sides. i know i'm being generic, but i don't want to say anything that could be construed as negative. they really are terrific people and we enjoyed knowing them during jim's time with them.

so the journey to a new employment place begins. we trust God has a place and a plan for jim. we know that jeremiah 29:11-14 is truth. we'll rest there for now.

please pray and thanks for praying.

peace.

blue sky

at last year's Downtown Arts Festival I took this pic with my phone. It's a art piece, not a real tree and I love that they put a bird's nest in the tree. The sky was beautiful that day and a perfect backdrop to the colors of the tree.

enjoy!

the canvas is complete!

so it all started with a big white canvas. i painted the base colors and then released it to the ephemerites (www.ephemerites.com)and told them to create. No boundaries, no suggestions, no rules. i wanted it to represent this amazingly talented group of women and it does.

the picture doesn't do it justice but i hope you enjoy!

peace.

altered book

this project is part of the ephemerites round robin projects. first book like this i have altered. it had to be something personal. hope you enjoy!

peace.

one week down, one to go...

the really good news is, i have accomplished everything i wanted to before i left. the bad news is, i still have a week to go! oh well....

there are huge parts of the job i will miss:
...meeting people i would never meet otherwise...Renee Fleming, Art Garfunkel, Bebe Neuwirth, Pink Martini....at least most of them have been really nice and excellent to work with.
...the great people i work with at the phil. small team of dedicated, power-house people who are never going to be paid what they are worth, never going to be appreciated like they should be, and do it anyway to keep the music alive.
...and the special people i've met along the way. you know who you are.

i am excited about the new challenges to come and the growth opportunities they will provide. when i think that the average life span in africa is 43 and the median age is 16, how can i not have a driving force within me to fulfill God's purpose and go into all the world and introduce them to Jesus. they may never have another chance. today may be their last. or mine. or yours. Do you know my Jesus? He loves you and wants most of all for you to know Him too. that's all. just say yes Jesus.

peace.

change is good....

but that doesn't make it easy. i resigned my position with the Phil on friday, amidst tears, not just my own. it is good to be loved. now comes two weeks of intense, make sure all the bases are covered, try to prepare the way for the new person, work.

then on to my new position as director of communications for reaching souls international. i'm very excited about what they do and being able to spread the word about it.

so here goes.

peace.

Reaching Souls International

?????? got a hoopty!!

ok, so you know those moments you wish you had captured on film, phone, whatever....well yesterday i had one.

picture this in your mind. loud music playing (ok that was in my car, but still), and to my right this GHETTO red lincoln, low in the back and bouncing on every bump, silver detailing around all wheel wells, down the doors, across the trunk, decent wheels (no spinners though), windows rolled down....got it?

now look at the driver....young, male, maybe ethnic.....

WRONG!!!!

Granny got a hoopty!!! I almost died laughing! I went from stereotypical to you gotta be kiddin me in 2.5 seconds. Little white granny, dressed in her Sunday best, looking between the steering wheel and the dash, bouncing on every bump.

don't you just love surprises!! and a good, long giggle?

peace.