Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A week in the mountains with crazy people

ok, maybe not certified crazy people, but close enough!! they are Crawfords after all! we're half way through our visit and it's been interesting, fun, sad, entertaining and thought provoking.

On one hand we have a nuclear family. Dad, Mom, 3 sons, wives & grandchildren.
On the other hand we have Dad, 10 marriages, 5 wives, 9 children, wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, and grandchildren.

and yet these 2 hands belong to the same man.

I sit in amazement of people in glass houses. Rock throwing seems to be a favorite past-time even knowing the consequence. Scripture says judge not lest you be judged. forgive me as I have forgiven others. with the same measure i give out i will be given to. honor your father and mother.

I battle with thoughts of anger, sadness, disgust, disbelief and gratefulness. I'm angry this man has caused so much pain for so many. Sad that he will die without ever understanding the full weight of his actions, attitudes and words. Disgusted by the bigotry and judgementalism that is so ingrained in his every pore. Disbelief that he truly knows the God that I know, or could all this be true? Grateful that in spite of all of this or because of it, Christ died for us both. Christ made the same sacrifice for us both, He paved the way to heaven for us both, He loves us both so much He made a way for us to know His loving, miraculous Father.

I have stopped praying Lord help me and have started praying Lord use me.

peaceful in idaho

Saturday, January 27, 2007

annie johnson flint once said...

God has not promised skies always blue,
flower strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.

But God has promised strength for the day,
rest for the labor,
light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
help from above,
unfailing sympathy,
undying love.

God has proven himself over and over, i don't know why i even give it a thought. yesterday, my last day, was a peaceful day. for many of you, you know how big a miracle that was. Thank you God!! I left well because God paved the way in peace.


as i was leaving my sister called. my aunt ann in missouri stepped out of her car at the funeral home where she was helping my cousin plan her father-in-law's funeral, had a massive heart attack and died before she hit the pavement. my aunt and uncle have been pastors all of their married life. they've been married since they were 18. they've raised 4 children, have 11 grandchildren and a current congregation of around 50. she will be missed by many, mourned by many.

but the good news is she loved the Lord and has served him faithfully for 50+ years. She has lived in a body that has had major health issues for decades. and she is Free at Last, free at last, thank God Almighty, free at last.

pray for those left behind, there will be a chasm in their lives for quite a time to come.

and remember But God has promised strength for the day.


Friday, January 26, 2007

last day...

so this is it. last day. seems odd that after 4 years it's just that simple. you walk away. i read something yesterday that said people born on my birthday invest themselves in their occupation because they consider their lives a mission and what they do, their mission field. i see this now more than ever. it's never just about the job for me. every job i've had in the past 10 years i've had because of a sense of investing in something bigger. whether that be the actual job or the people around me or the people it served, i wanted there to be more to it than a job and a paycheck.

i guess that would explain why i have such mixed feelings. i'm excited about the new job potential for learning and growing and i'm sad that i'm leaving an organization i've invested 18 years of my life in. i will still sing, but it will be different not participating in the growth and development of Canterbury.

so here's to my last day. i hope i can go out in a blaze of glory!!! just kidding, i'm just hoping i don't boohoo like a big baby! a peaceful exit would be a blessing to me. a peaceful ending would be phenomenal, after all, i'm only moving upstairs!!


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

That was then, this is now....

so reading back over my last post i was looking forward to a smooth 2 weeks, great ending to a great job, lasting relationships with coworkers and bosses...

that's been pretty much been shot all to HELL!!!

i'm such a pollyanna. i believe good happens. you really can be happy and for the most part, you can treat anyone with respect and get what you need to, done.

well, after the last 2 weeks, i'm a little more jaded, a little more bruised and a lot more committed to this being the best thing I have done in a long time!!

So here we go. 2 more days. i think i can, i think i can...

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Phillipians 4:13

He's giving extra to me these days and I'm still gr8ful!!


Friday, January 12, 2007

Baby, it's cold outside....

So we shut the office down early due to the early onslaught of first winter storm of 2007. Sleet abounds and is slowly covering our streets and cars and anything standing still with a wonderful coating of ice pellets. The world is quiet right now and we're warm in our house on easy street.
I'm at peace too. God provided the perfect opportunity to speak with my boss and her boss, face to face, alone. I was able to turn in my two weeks notice with no drama, no anger, no loss of blood. It was an answer to many prayers. I anticipate a good exit and a positive continuing relationship with all involved. It is a huge blessing to me and I am grateful.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I've gone and done it

i got a myspace. i don't dress any differently, or say "like" every 3rd word, but i have gone over to the youthier culture and pimped out a myspace for myself. so if you want to see the other side, check it out at there's some pics and a funny video. i even have friends. but my blogger's heart will always be here, so don't expect a lot in the myspace world. i'm just happy i figured out how to add some color!!! my secret, i have a 20 year old tutor!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

so i was thinking...

what creates a sense of entitlement in people? i've met many people, of all ages, that believe the world they live in should just be the way they want it and their expectation of the world is do it just that way. i don't get this. my life experience has shown me that if i want something a certain way, i'm probably going to have to work to get it there. this is my expectation and my experience.

i think i would love to live one day where everything was exactly the way i wanted it to be without any effort from me. but then again, why spoil contentment with one day?

i love my life and i wouldn't trade it. good and bad, easy and hard, God has shaped me and changed me and blessed me. i see His presence in my life every day, even though that's the last thing (without Jesus) that i'm entitled to.