Wednesday, January 19, 2011
My glass is temporarily empty
I've found recently that I've had a shortage of ideas. Creative, practical, artistic, fun. It's just been a dry time.
I did a lot of creating before Christmas but I've done nothing since then. Professionally, I took a hard hit in December. My work content, quality and quantity were placed in significant question by my boss. I think it rocked me more than I initially felt. Needless to say, my introspection has been deep. Was his criticism founded? How? Why?
I look back over last year and I see a great deal accomplished. 4 of 5 major projects completed. The 5th was not because it was taken off the table. These projects were on top of my daily work. So how could I be so lacking?
I'm still not sure to be very honest. I have not received any more direction or clarification so the details are out of my reach. I hope this will change, but it is not in my hands.
I guess that is where my hope comes from. It is not in my hands. Being defensive or hurt only impedes me. Although I have found my confidence shaken, my true creativity bruised, I will not let this momentary trouble steal my joy. I will not stop being and start doing because of one man's opinion. I will not build a defense inside my head or heart. I will seek the Lord, I will listen with my whole heart. I will humble myself in his sight and he will lift me up.
I will pray.
Please pray with me. This has been a difficult journey and it's not over. But I am sure of this, "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it." Phillipians 1:6
I have hope that one day soon, my creative cup will once again over-flow. Until then, I'm drinking lots of water.