Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My glass is temporarily empty

I've found recently that I've had a shortage of ideas. Creative, practical, artistic, fun. It's just been a dry time.

I did a lot of creating before Christmas but I've done nothing since then. Professionally, I took a hard hit in December. My work content, quality and quantity were placed in significant question by my boss. I think it rocked me more than I initially felt. Needless to say, my introspection has been deep. Was his criticism founded? How? Why?

I look back over last year and I see a great deal accomplished. 4 of 5 major projects completed. The 5th was not because it was taken off the table. These projects were on top of my daily work. So how could I be so lacking?

I'm still not sure to be very honest. I have not received any more direction or clarification so the details are out of my reach. I hope this will change, but it is not in my hands.

I guess that is where my hope comes from. It is not in my hands. Being defensive or hurt only impedes me. Although I have found my confidence shaken, my true creativity bruised, I will not let this momentary trouble steal my joy. I will not stop being and start doing because of one man's opinion. I will not build a defense inside my head or heart. I will seek the Lord, I will listen with my whole heart. I will humble myself in his sight and he will lift me up.

I will pray.

Please pray with me. This has been a difficult journey and it's not over. But I am sure of this, "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it." Phillipians 1:6

I have hope that one day soon, my creative cup will once again over-flow. Until then, I'm drinking lots of water.



jackie said...

Keep on that journey dear friend! It will patient.

gr8fulg said...

Thanks Jackie. I missed you this week, but I hope your new year is full of goodness.

barb said...

praying for you...always.
love you,